A lot of wet mouth swallowing. A lot of talking about absolutely nothing. 10 minutes straight on pay $4000 to convert back to a normal person from narcissism. As if that’s even a thing. Couldn’t change this podcast fast enough.

Thank you so much, Tony. You helped me through so much regarding my narcissistic family and life beyond. You're making a difference- I just want you to know ❤️

As a clinician very familiar with narcissistic abuse and its destructive effects, I am blown away by Tony Overbay’s breadth and depth of understanding on the topic. He brings both compassion and accountability to his podcast. Even if you think you know the subject… chances are good that he’s going to tell you something you don’t know- and do it in a way that makes your life and relationships better.

The previous review described this podcast as life-changing and I couldn’t agree more. WOW!!! Tony’s descriptions and examples bring such clarity to these topics and make them so accessible and understandable. I appreciate the AI jokes and the humor very much, but it’s the useful content that keeps me coming back. Tony hinted that he was going to talk about a topic that I would find particularly relevant, but so far I haven’t been able to discern from the episode titles where I might find it… I’ll be listening to every one of them, though, so I guess I will eventually find it. THANK YOU, Tony!! (or is that Dr. Tony? ;))

Enjoying the podcast so far but really wish there weren’t these long silences throughout the episode. I don’t know if it’s editing or what but they are so long that they make me think that the podcast has stopped playing or the speaker stopped working.

I need to publicity thank you for the providing your podcasts and knowledge for me to learn and grow! It’s amazing to me that we get to have your expertise and resource for free!!! You have no idea how helpful, pivotal, & life changing your work and wisdom have been for me. You’ve helped me have a clearer vision of my circumstances which has given me the personal power to stand up for myself and take ownership of my life. Thank you for dedicating your life to help others! I’m a happier, better person because of you.

Tony is the best. I literally woke up to narcissism because of this show and learned many helpful strategies to deal with emotionally immature people. Additionally, I learned how to build my own emotional base line. Thank you Tony!

This podcast has been life changing for me. I truly never knew what I didn't know and am sadden that I didn’t know I had developed so many emotionally immature practices in my marriage. Each episode has contained so many aha moments that help me make positive healthy changes and help me grow up emotionally. Thank you Tony, keep up the good work.

This podcast has helped me so much with accepting my situation and finding some acceptance and peace. Thank you so much for everything and please keep the episodes coming. I rely on these more than you know.

This podcast is helping me so much. I have recently realized that I have been in toxic relationships my whole life and this podcast and other materials have helped me to discover WHY. Something I have been wondering my whole life! I listen to this podcast when I feel myself getting back into unhealthy thinking patterns.

The emotional whiplash episode was so validating. It really hit home.

Listening to this podcast has opened up my eyes to the narcissists in my family. It has been like a guidebook & helped me learn. Learn how to communicate with them & how to avoid confrontation. I don’t take a lot of things as personally as I used to.

He is excellent. Breaking things down into what I call “Anna terms”. I have come so far in not only finding out what kind of person I was with. But also opening my eyes to my “faults” for a lack of better terms. I am becoming whole, finally. I watch myself or see myself failing back into old “patterns” of being pathologically nice. And I stop myself. And it is scary and empowering all at the same time. Thank you Tony Sincerely, Anna Underwood

Tony and this podcast are fantastic. I so appreciate how authentic and open he is, even about himself throughout the podcast. I’ve read and listened to soooo many resources on narcissism that have been so life saving and valuable. This is up there as one of the most thorough, thought provoking, and detailed sources of information on narcissism and emotional immaturity. If you need a life raft to validate you and see you in this brutal and soul destroying experience of being with a narcissist, Tony is the therapist and friend we all wish we had to walk through this with. Thank you Tony for the work you do! And for being a light out of the dark for those of us who know this nightmare and pain. As a caveat… Tony also does a fantastic job of going over just emotional immaturity and all levels of this scale. So many can be helped by this. So thank you!

This podcast opened my eyes and has given me so much hope. I knew I was in an abusive marriage but was questioning if I was being too sensitive or that I’m the problem. I’ve learned what to do to get through this, I’ve started counseling, am in the support group, meditating, journaling, and doing better. Thank you for everything Tony!

I am an adult (52 yo) in the throws of realizing that my immediate family members are narcissists. I am being isolated from them as I start pushing back and I’m realizing that no one will hear or understand me so I am desperate for material to help me understand my experience. The episodes I’ve listened to so far are informative, well-referenced, and clear.

Absolutely love this podcast. I stumbled on it a few days ago, after searching for more info about narcissist spouses. Tony, does an amazing job using outside resources, viewers shared experiences, and his wealth of knowledge to beautifully articulate narcissist/ emotional immaturity behavior. I truly most say that Tony SAVED my sanity, living in a narcissist/emotional immature world gets to be overwhelming. I have struggled with self growth during my marriage, finding my mental calories used on unsolvable issues. Tony’s words and encouragement are felt on this podcast.

Tony Overbay sincerely cares about people and it shows. He has a lot of experience with narcissistic relationships and I have had plenty of aha moments when listening to him.

Although I have deep dived information on narcissism for the last year and a half or so, this podcast has been my favorite on the subject. I like that Tony meets people where they are. I like that he gives practical, grace-giving advice, for people at all stages of learning about narcissism and emotional immaturity. I’ve listened to every single episode, but my favorites are the death by a thousand cuts episodes. I’d love an episode all about getting my phd in gaslighting, examples of it, what it *isn't*, how to recognize it, how to explain it to others…

As a man who is waking up to narcissism from their wife, this podcast has truly pulled me from the depths of misunderstanding and dark places in my mind I never thought I would go. Not only was my heart broke, but my soul broken and the way that Tony reminds me that “I am seen and I am heard”, makes you feel so less alone in a trauma where that’s all you feel. With each episode I relive each moment of my relationship, but Tony reminds me that it’s ok and I am not the crazy guy that I have been called. Without sounding too dramatic as an educated, 20 year Army Vet. Tony you have saved me when I thought my heart, body, logic and mind were beyond saving. Thank you so much for that. Please anyone that listen know that though he uses the men as the dominant narcissist or with tendencies; his talks, guidance, and application are gender neutral. As a man who tried alot of podcasts, this is the one you need. I feel that so much that I have listed Tony as my therapist on Tricare, and am expecting the bill this week. If I could give him 10 out of 5 stars, my fingers would go faster than me grabbing a Popeyes Spicy Chicken sandwich. Please check out!

I enjoy information. It is almost like a conversation but one sided. Tony Overbay doesn’t sound monotonous, he throws in some jokes here and there. Tangents happen (as they do in real life). I love how he takes moments to self reflect to make sure he isn’t falling into traps. It makes me also self reflect on my own actions.

In my journey of self reflection and the desire to better understand those around me, I came across this podcast. I really appreciate the framework and lack of blame put on others. “We don’t know what we don’t know.” It helps to remain compassionate when immaturity rears its ugly head. Tony, thank you for sharing your knowledge and your own self reflective experience. It’s been helpful.

I am 65 years old and have had a low self esteem my entire life. My mom criticized everyone, and didn’t protect me from an older brother who constantly teased and bullied me. I married a narcissist and both of my adult children have narcissistic traits. I am grateful to wake up to my pathological kindness. I am grateful for the insight and help.

I’ve been in a marriage with a Narcissist that lasted 2 years, which I was told is relatively short for that kind of relationship. I STILL have issues from that marriage and I’ve been out of that marriage for 9 years. I just want to say that I am so grateful for resources like this because there were examples every single day during that two years that I felt like I was crazy. I believed every word he said because he justified it and made me feel like it was all my fault. Trying to heal from that has been such a long journey and I still have such a long way to go. Baby steps. ♥️

Very informative and useful content. Thank you.

It’s really a shame that the toxic ppl have to try to sabotage helpful resources.. please listen vs reading reviews only. Also, it’s common to say him or her when the gender is not the important part of the message.. insert whomever and whatever details make it beneficial to your situation.. I say this with all of the respect in the world. I simply want good content to be seen and not impaired by our taking things too personally.. and missing the opportunity to help each other see & heal.. Tganjs Tony.. and God Bless all of us trying to move ahead to healthy relationships & more joy in our lives.. 🙏🏻😇❤️ Updated review… LOVE THIS PODCAST!!! I listen to several but always find Tony the most helpful & encouraging.. keep up the great work! God Bless

I can’t say enough good things about this podcast, and how much it’s unbelievably helped me along my journey of self discovery, and how to avoiding getting into another narcissistic relationship. I have been searching all over trying to figure out how I can sign up for the female page on Facebook?

I love this podcast. Tony does an excellent job on educating the listeners on emotional immaturity and narcissism. I am a therapist and have listened to many similar podcasts. This is the one I refer my clients to. His style is so warm and friendly. It’s easy listening. Highly recommend you listen if you are struggling in a relationship with someone who has many narcissistic traits. To quote Tony “you don’t know what you don’t know”.

I have woken up recently to my own narcissistic tendencies. I am seeking out everything I can to give me better understanding, and want to change. Majority of the information (articles, podcasts, videos, etc. ) that I have been able to find so far is all coming from a place of bitterness and resentment without any real content to help me. Probably my least favorite is the Clickbait videos that allude to being able to change as a narcissist but then they go on to tell you that Narcissists cannot change. I love the angle that your podcast takes, and it has been instrumental in my growth.

I couldn’t make sense of anything before found this podcast! In desperation to understand why my marriage was falling a part one minute and a honeymoon the next, someone told me to look up narcissism and HSP. This podcast gave me the understanding I needed to break out of fight or flight response and start using logic. Now I’m unpacking all the manipulation, play by play and detaching from the pain & the attempted cuts.

I have been looking for answers for so long and this amazing podcast is finally giving me many of the answers I have been looking for. Internet searches will not give you the gold you will find here. I feel like I’m getting hours and hours of free therapy because I will listen, have a thought, and Tony will just know what my thoughts are and address them in his podcasts. I have literally started laughing out loud because it felt like he was reading my mind and understanding my concerns and self doubts as I was having them. He doesn’t know the listeners, but as a listener you truly feel not only understood, but loved by him. That is truly a gift he has, in addition to his deep understanding of narcissists and all the implications of having one in your life. He must get so many emails with people just desperate to tell their story and it must be hard for him to read all of our long stories, yet he reads them all and continues to encourage us to send them if we feel so inclined. I am just so grateful for all the good he is doing and will recommend him and his podcasts every chance I get.

Thank you for your podcasts!! They have helped me in my process of healing in so many ways. I’m praying for God to bless you!

Thank you so much, Tony for your amazing podcast. The topics, guest speakers and your advice and tips for navigating a relationship with a narcissist have been tremendously helpful. Narcissists are complex, difficult and crazy-making. Learning more and more and working through your tools has helped me come up for air after what has felt like drowning for many years. Highly recommend if you are curious about narcissism or feel like you are going crazy in a relationship with someone that lacks compassion, empathy and understanding. You’re not alone! Tony helps you see that!

Thank you Tony for taking the time and making the effort to put this great resource together for the community!! As someone who’s lived through narcissistic abuse while also becoming aware of my own emotional immaturity, your guidance and episodes are healing and helpful. What a great combination! (And thanks for having me on the show!) Susie Pettit

E. Twice really relate to and both of you have eat advice

WOW! Here I finally thought I had met the unique person to fit me. (Of course now I know that was the façade store front of a man) … here I find out he’s generic narcissist reading the basic 101 manuals! He fits SO much of these stories. While I would call myself an empath I am definitely not the submissive type but I will choose the path less explosive. I now find the silent treatment as a mini vacation! I speak up when around our kids as they need to see a strong mother figure but find now we are really survive by literally being two ships that bump in the night! 😂😂😂 (there’s my humor!) I keep him happy with physical needs and I look to friends and kids for all my other needs (emotional support, cuddles, and conversations.) it’s not ideal but it’s survival so our son doesn’t hopefully take on traits. I’m happy being the fall guy if my kiddos are happy and with me full time. What I hate the most is that his needs (sex) always come before mine! While sick for over a month and a half he stopped transferring the money for groceries cause he wasn’t getting what he needed. Money and sex should never be in the same conversation or thought for that matter. I also hate that in order to fix anything/everything I have to make myself be intimate with him when that’s the last thing I want to be doing but as soon as I do it’s like nothing ever happened! Episode 13!!! The jewelry scenario! He bought me a necklace while dating and I told him I have always said “if I guy gives me jewelry he’s not the guy for me since he obviously doesn’t know me!” The year we got engaged a bracelet. And for our fifth anniversary another bracelet since he forgot he gave me the first one and he wanted me to have a whole set of fancy jewelry! He also bought “me” a washer/dryer one year for the holidays when we didn’t need one and I never asked for them, the following year an entire new kitchen appliance set again for “me” …he spent “so much money on me” so I should be grateful! A few years later pots and pans that he wanted. I liked our old pots and pans. And yes I absolutely love all these new things but they are just as much benefiting him as they are me. Thank god for Amazon wishlists now! 😂😂😂 but I actually like buying myself stocking stuffers and santa gifts I get the little things I’ve always wanted! Also my husband has a long standing tradition of buying “gifts” for himself and saying their from someone else …he and his dad do it for the holiday for themselves and this year he bought a $1500 gift and said it was from his daughter who’s 16 and cannot/would not spend that much on him.

I loved the episode. Tony’s laidback and friendly manner drew the best out of his guest. Susie is amazing. Tony allowed that light of experience and passion she possesses to come out and shine. Thanks Mate.

Practical and straight forward, Tony ‘s voice and advice comfort me, it is as if he were along for decades as a fly on the wall in my relationship. When I’m feeling most crushed and trapped and covertly bullied, his voice, stories, and advice help me not crumble back into crippling anxiety from feeling I must contain and manage someone else’s painful actions of cold shouldering and minimizing me into less than a person. Tony has brought me from being lost to myself, to beginning to find myself, build my strength and knowledge, and hold my boundries, no matter the covert insults, control, dismissiveness.

This podcast was suggested to me by my older sister who has been the one to put in to motion my realization of the narcissism in our family system. I am so grateful to have a reliable and compassionate expert to listen to. The topics of these episodes have helped me to realize patterns in my family and how those patterns have already affected me. It’s so amazing for me to know that my family isn’t “just dysfunctional like any other”, and to realize that the issues occurring are not okay and should not me normalized.

Host interrupts his guests way too much. “Ok”, “yeah”, etc. are very distracting. Please just allow your guest to talk or at least edit your audio. I want to learn here, not listen to a man interrupt women over and over. Tony, I love your podcast and I want to learn from you, but this most recent episode has soooo much distracting scratching around audio as the guest is trying to speak. Please listen to the audio before posting…it’s nearly unlistenable

I listened to this podcast for a week straight, after that I began my own research on personal development and handling a relationship with an emotionally immature person. I gained confidence in myself, I met new people, started seeing a change in my grades at university and overall performance in normal everyday activities. When my new relationships don’t work out as I would like I don’t get depressed and attached. For me this podcast was an eye opener and step in the right direction. Now this podcast helps me gauge and monitor my life and environment. I really appreciate this podcast, Thank You.

I feel seen… a deep thank you. This podcast is tremendous for anyone curious to truly understand more about the insidious impact of narcissistic abuse. Thank you Tony for your commitment to this valuable work. I love all your insights, and listening to you has helped me stay out of vs staying stuck in an unhealthy relationship with a covert narcissist. It’s so hard to put your finger on these relationships even though you know something isn’t right, and you’re miserable. It’s like your swimming in a fishbowl, round & round with all the brain fog, and circular conversations/arguments. It’s when you realize you’re a beautiful, vibrant fish, and follow your intuition to just keep swimming… this time, downstream! to a big, wide open ocean of life as an individuated person. I grew up with a narcissistic mom and a narcissistic, alcoholic father. I didn’t realize until my late 30’s that seeking their approval and safety and connection was only going to come from within me!

So many great tools and breaking down how to overcome the challenges of having a narcissist in your life

Just listened for the first time and I think this information is so valuable! Great episode and can’t wait to listen to more!

This has helped open my eyes to what I have been dealing with. I have referred others to it and my friend made the comment,”It’s as if he was in my house.”

Please listen to all things Tony Overbay. I’ve been listening to The virtual couch for years and this podcast is more of his great stuff. It is not an overstatement that he has saved my marriage. AND I’ve never actually met him!

I am new to hearing about this podcast and binged all the episodes in a month. I have been desperately seeking for something to explain my whole entire life. I have thought I was crazy so many times. I have gone down some pretty dark roads. It has affected me so much I had a mini stroke at 39 and my health continues to go down hill. Yet I still stick around cause honestly I have no clue how to do anything different. My parents are narcs, my 1st 2nd 3rd husband are narcs, guys I dated were narcs! Obviously I only know one type😭 Tony is giving the strength knowledge and support needed for me to progress along my path. Every single episode describes husband #3 for the past 8 years how scary is that😢 however I now KNOW none of it’s my fault and I can sit back and laugh at the “popcorn moments” thank you Tony!

It is amazing how often this podcast describes my world. Thank you Tony for putting words to my experiences. I appreciate the many references, books, and research that is brought into the conversation. The repetition of terms and varying real life examples give meaningful insights and help me process this brand new (yet familiar) information. I also really identify with the format of this podcast, having ADHD myself, so it’s very easy for me to follow the train of thought. Grateful for all you’re doing to “let your light so shine!”

Love this show! It brings clarity to the online cyberattack I was abused with as a stepmom to my husbands son, which went in for years.

Thank you for all of this information. It really made so much since. I’ve been there when I had proof in my hand and the other person was like that didn’t happen and I’m like WHAT!! I’ve been around this type of toxicity all my life and I just learned what a narcissist was last year. I’ve been almost nonstop with reading, listening and watching to understand what it was I experienced and I just want to say thank you all for putting this information out there and waking people up and letting them know that they aren’t crazy. Word salad and gaslighting are real and there’s no way to fight that. You just gotta go!