Football Cliches

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker.Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Recent Episodes
  • Stanley Tucci's Champions League punditry, Furniccio Villaggione & a chat with Rudi Voller
    May 7, 2025 – 59:38
  • Perfectly-timed crowd noise, Jacko Wilsheri & managers who qualify as "glorified PE teachers”
    May 6, 2025 – 47:49
  • Football's present-tense addiction & penalty shootout celebrations: The listeners' loves & hates
    Apr 30, 2025 – 01:03:37
  • Accidental FIFA commentary, Newcastle's Fibonacci fate & Premier League cliche analytics
    Apr 28, 2025 – 01:02:57
  • Pope John Gregory, Premier League clubs as supermarkets & route-one crowd noise
    Apr 23, 2025 – 46:54
  • Fact-checking Paul Scholes, caretaker popes & Olivier Giroud's locker
    Apr 21, 2025 – 56:57
  • The Premier League Unfinished Business XI
    Apr 16, 2025 – 01:24:26
  • Prince William's punditry, TNT's "hipster gunk" and a gift from the Keys & Gray gods
    Apr 15, 2025 – 56:26
  • Ribblesdale Rovers vs The Rules, Chris Sutton vs football jargon & the exact definition of a "hoick”
    Apr 9, 2025 – 43:22
  • The ultimate managerial indignity & everything ITV crime dramas get wrong about football
    Apr 7, 2025 – 46:48
  • Doing a job on Chris Wilder & goalkeepers just booting it upfield, with Bryan's Gunn
    Apr 2, 2025 – 01:00:51
  • Free-transfer pundits, Daniel Mann's woodwork nuance & ex-Spurs defenders vs. the Jonas Brothers
    Mar 31, 2025 – 43:32
  • ”Snuffing out the danger", pre-match strolling & drinking the opposition's water: The listeners' loves & hates
    Mar 27, 2025 – 56:43
  • 90/10 tackles, Danish player ratings & how to board a train like a 30-goal striker
    Mar 25, 2025 – 49:43
  • Woke metrics, Erling Haaland's Pro Evo name & our niche England predictions
    Mar 20, 2025 – 58:46
  • The Carabao springboard, more musical commentary & the most Richard Keys-sounding tweet of all time
    Mar 18, 2025 – 46:07
  • Knowing your way around the Champions League, German woodwork & England's future one-cap wonders
    Mar 13, 2025 – 01:07:22
  • The whole 11.2 yards, DNA-level Lampardian Transitions - and Keys & Gray become one
    Mar 11, 2025 – 01:00:17
  • The Pure Discourse XI
    Mar 6, 2025 – 01:24:21
  • How to time a red card, penalty run-ups & commentator Robyn Cowen voice-controls a stadium
    Mar 4, 2025 – 46:24
  • The Football Cliches Quiz XVIII: It Was What It Was
    Feb 27, 2025 – 01:53:44
  • Champions-elect, relegated Rishi Sunak & Premier League managers with Athletic subscriptions
    Feb 25, 2025 – 48:00
  • How to celebrate an own goal & ball-boy etiquette: The listeners' loves & hates
    Feb 20, 2025 – 56:34
  • Chuckling stadiums, Things-in-Chief and, finally, some actual whispering of it quietly
    Feb 18, 2025 – 56:19
  • Crosses from the 1990s, baseball scores & the death of the managerial "war cry”
    Feb 13, 2025 – 58:39
  • Nursery rhymes with Fletch, Clark Kent goalkeeping & under-12s away-day cauldrons
    Feb 11, 2025 – 56:13
  • The Football Cliches Quiz XVII: The Commentators
    Feb 6, 2025 – 01:30:43
  • The "17th chess piece", the death of the onion bag & coded messages to the board
    Feb 4, 2025 – 01:01:21
  • Referees vs The Limelight, passages of terror & Matt 1 Hernia 0
    Jan 30, 2025 – 46:32
  • "Football, bloody football", UK garage Postecoglou & the exact weight of a Premier League point
    Jan 28, 2025 – 45:26
  • Cometh the quinquennium, cometh the pod
    Jan 23, 2025 – 01:00:37
  • Has the Premier League hit peak “What a job [Manager X] is doing up/down there?”
    Jan 20, 2025 – 56:28
  • Portrait-aspect football & England managers in the stands: The listeners' loves & hates (feat. Chloe Petts)
    Jan 16, 2025 – 01:00:30
  • WW2 with Ray Parlour, Tamworth's global appeal & the 1863 Ballon d'Or winner
    Jan 14, 2025 – 49:40
  • Trip-hop Liam Delap, the terminal velocity of a lob & the goal gifting crisis
    Jan 9, 2025 – 44:47
  • The first embers of a game, heavy-metal Jonathan Pearce & the Andy Gray of lacrosse
    Jan 7, 2025 – 43:53
  • ”Listen, fair play": The Best of Football Clichés in 2024
    Dec 30, 2024 – 01:28:16
  • The Football Cliches Quiz XVI: Career We Go - The Rematch
    Dec 24, 2024 – 01:17:02
  • Cliches do Mesut Haaland Dicks: Adam, Charlie & Dave’s footballing loves & hates
    Dec 19, 2024 – 01:10:56
  • The blip-to-crisis benchmark, Comedy Central defending & Australian red card music
    Dec 17, 2024 – 42:27
  • Commentators sampled in experimental French pop & the ultimate generic multi-club ownership group
    Dec 12, 2024 – 43:03
  • Unexpected Sutton, diags on MOTD & the “good time to play them” threshold
    Dec 10, 2024 – 44:24
  • The best 9.3% of the FA Cup draw, the "stand named after you" threshold & Richard Keys on cars
    Dec 5, 2024 – 38:39
  • An educated left head, the first goal ever uploaded to YouTube & the "big-money signing" formula
    Dec 3, 2024 – 41:10
  • Sunday League set-piece routines, the "olé" threshold & mistimed minute's applauses: The listeners' loves & hates
    Nov 28, 2024 – 47:49
  • 5.54 seconds of away-goal confusion, footballers in US T-junctions and the official Keys & Gray app
    Nov 26, 2024 – 44:40
  • The Bosman legacy, optimum camera angles & double saves, with Luke Moore
    Nov 21, 2024 – 01:29:43
  • 59 consecutive hat-tricks, yo-yo countries and the first-ever usage of "tippy-tappy football”
    Nov 19, 2024 – 38:54
  • Deodorant ads, Don(ald) Goodman & "The Deeney Guy": Cliches meets Sky Sports commentator Bill Leslie
    Nov 14, 2024 – 01:04:23
  • xG meets crime dramas & the Sunday League to Premier League hat-trick pathway
    Nov 12, 2024 – 38:24
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